The first time I heard the concept of the “rushing woman syndrome” I was at the border of burnout.
As I listened to those words, something clicked inside. An instant recognition of myself in them. But, wait… how could I be a rushing woman? I was a yoga teacher with more than 20 years of experience, fully dedicated to my practice and, by all standards, I was living a super healthy life.
The rushing woman syndrome is a term created by Dr. Libby Weaver. She describes the rushing woman as living with an intense pressure to do it all, to serve everybody. Time is never enough. A rushing woman feels wired and, at the same time, tired. That is exactly how I was feeling. Tired and wired.
So you might be asking: What happened? How did I get to that point?
The answer is menopause.
Sadly, nowadays, lot of women could relate to this state at some level. Not only women in menopause. You can be a rushing woman in your 20´s and your 30´s. But the hormonal changes that happen during menopause, and their effects in the nervous system, accentuate this syndrome.
This state of living has very negative impact for our health: imbalanced hormones, depleted adrenal glands that never stop to produce stress hormones, thyroid problems, weight gain, loss of libido,…
´Which are the causes for this pattern of wired tired women?
Let´s analyse some significant factors.
Patriarchy. For centuries (or even millennia) the world has been organised and designed by men and for men. Before 20th century, few women had access to professional live. Paradoxically this had some pros, as the women inner environments were more supportive of the cyclical ways of the feminine. The privilege of accessing more opportunities came with a price: the need to adapt to a men world that does not respect the cyclic and more sensitive nature of women. And with the added load, in many cases, of keep doing the traditionally understood as feminine task.
Need to prove ourselves. In a masculine world, there is a constant need to prove our worth. We are taught that to be successful women we have to work hard. Harder than men. That success comes with effort and suffering. And the inner critic gets into play: ·I am not enough”, “I need to do more”, “ I need to do better”. Our bodies and minds cannot sustain this external and internal demand.
Menopause. Depending on their energy and vitality, some women can keep up with this state of living. As sexual hormones start, with the beginning of perimenopause, the body compensates with more cortisol (one stress hormone). And you start living in the cortisol rush, that keeps your body in constant alert, like if you were in danger. Sleepless nights are followed but exhausting days… Wired and tired. Simultaneously.
Fear of rejection. Dr Libby Weaver affirms that the rushing woman syndrome, at an emotional level, comes from a deep fear to feel rejected. This fear of rejection increases with age, in a society that over-values youth. (We will as well see how deep inside this is no other than the projection of our own rejection to ageing and the changes we experience in our bodies)
If you feel identified with what you are reading, let me tell you that reversing this state is posible. You can live at any age in a relaxed body full of vitality.
I want to share with you some ideas to take the first steps and a micro-practice that you can do anytime anywhere.
They are simple but really effective if you put them into practice.
What if I tell you that you do not have to prove anything?
You are enough as you are.
Take a deep breath and sit with that for a moment.
I AM ENOUGH as I AM
As strange this sounds to you in this moment, allow your body and consciousness to be flooded with the energy of these words.
2. Stop trying to be “Super Woman”.
There is no need for that and you will create a depleted version of yourself, less effective and attractive.
Instead create more space in your life for self-care.
You are much more effective from a calm state than from a state of stress.
3. Living the feminine.
One of my mottos.
Men and women are different. Equally beautiful and powerful. Both holding feminine and masculine energy. But different.
It is time to reclaim new ways of being and doing that are more inclusive of women needs. The best way is to start from ourselves, in our daily life.
The path of the feminine is not pushing but allowing; it is not effort but softness. This might sound really weird in a society that prizes effort. But believe me, a world in which your desires come to you because you allow them is as real as the masculine world we live in in which things are achieve by over-efforting.
The following breathing technique can change the state of your nervous systme in a few minutes. Enjoy it!
Box Breathing Micro-practice
Please, share with me your comments and sensations in Instagram @susanarasalila
Be wise, wild… and relaxed.